Mousetraps: Part I

The house was always infested with some vermin or another, whether we lived in Russia or in the States. Our apartment in Russia swarmed with ants for a few years. They'd cluster around the sugar bowl and I amused myself by squashing them, one by one. They'd infest the walls, laying piles of eggs that resembled nearly-bursting cysts.

The cockroaches came next, winged, swollen, and brown. Stomping on them with all your might only killed them about half the time. They survived several rounds of extermination. "Jesus, these Russian cockroaches," my father said, "They would survive a nuclear war!"

And then, of course, there were the mice, forever scurrying in and out of tiny holes in wall. My mother or grandmother would see one: the house would fill with blood-curling screams, or else they'd leap onto a chair or counter in fear to avoid touching it.

"The filthy vermin, they will eat our food and give us horrible diseases! We must lock up all cabinets," my mother said. It was useless to try to explain to her that the chance of actually catching a disease from one of these creatures was highly unlikely. Logic never really happened in that house. Or else, trying to explain that throwing away the festering piles of papers, the filthy rags in all the closets, the mess that the house had accumulated might actually help... she wouldn't listen.

My father diligently placed the traps, everywhere, little metal boxes with doors, and a piece of cheese inside. The boxes rattled when a mouse was caught inside. We'd go outside, open the little metal door, and watch the terrified creature pounce away, scuttle into a distant street corner.

We thought we would escape these creatures in the United States. America is different, they said. The homes are cleaner. Neater, perhaps. But on our second day in Boston, we discovered centipedes crawling all over the shower curtains. My mother nearly burst into tear. "Why have we come to this country? These centipedes.. they are uglier than the cockroaches."

But it took us an entire year in America before we spotted the first mouse...