This bullshit has gone on far too long, and I am weary of it. Of course, it doesn't involve me directly, it is the things Outside of My Reach that worry me the most. Engraved permanently in my mind is an image of my mother, pouring a piping hot of tea into her coup, blowing on it, sighing, and quietly mumbling, "Why are you so worried about the world, what is happening out there? Take care of yourself."

It's that selfish attitude that creates all these ridiculous problems, that leads to violence and brutality. "I care only about myself, my land, my people. I am human.. and others are not."

Over and over, we flip from one channel to another. We see bloodshed, gore, destruction. We sigh, shrug, and switch to a sitcom.

We drink tea quietly, unaffected by visions of death surrounding us.

I see myself on television. I see my own body, drenched in blood, sprawled on the pavement. Alone and helpless. Perhaps I am both selfish and selfless at once: feeling so in touch with the universe, so connected to strangers, to supposed enemies, that I can feel my own face bleeding, sense my own children ripped from my arms. Vicarious trauma.

"Do you ever see yourself on television?" I whisper half asleep to my lover, and she looks at me as though I am mad. "Maybe more like reflections of a different version of yourself? We are all connected, somehow, overall... have you ever read Jung's work? The collective subconscious?"

There are stories I can't tell at all, stories about past lives, spirit animals, dying and being reborn.. Stories to remain untold. But these are not really my stories to tell, they are yours, ours, everyone's.

She checks my forehead. But I have no fever. Again, and again, I see myself on television.